I was doing some research recently for a client experiencing ‘spontaneous ejaculation’ and as part of that, learnt the processes that are involved in penile ejaculation. It’s far more than I had realised. Do you know the ins-and-outs of it, so to speak?
I talk a lot about the need to understand female anatomy better, but we need to know more about male anatomy too. So let me share some of what I learnt.
[Puts on white science lab coat]
Do you imagine sperm-drenched semen is just sitting in the testicles, ready to get shot out upon arousal? There’s actually much more going on…
‘Human ejaculation is a highly complex, tightly coordinated series of reflexes and mechanisms,’ says a comprehensive research review I found on ScienceDirect (https://www.sciencedirect.com/...). ‘The process requires the coordinated innervation of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems as well as somatic innervation. Human ejaculation consists of two distinct successive coordinated phases: seminal emission, and ejaculation, each of which involves different anatomic structures.’
Tell me more…
‘The emission is characterized by closure of the bladder neck and contraction of smooth muscles throughout the seminal tract. The seminal fluid is derived mainly from the seminal vesticles and prostate, with small contributions from the bulbourethral glands and from spermatozoa, transported from the epididymis through the vas deferens.’
So there we have the freshly-mixed semen…
‘Ejaculation is characterized by relaxation of the external urinary sphincter, followed by repeated contractions of the bulbospongiosus, ischiocavernosus, levator ani, and transverse perineal muscles, leading to forceful expulsion of seminal fluid from the urethral meatus. Both emission and ejection occur in harmony to induce normal antegrade ejaculation.’
Factor in too all the mental and physical processes involved with erection. Wow, there is SO much going on there! Isn’t the body amazing?
However, when I am coaching clients I typically don’t go deep into science – for the client I mentioned, I was aware that pinching of certain nerves in the spine can be a factor in spontaneous ejaculation, and was doing some extra reading.
[Takes off white science lab coat]
My focus is more around mindset and beliefs about what ‘sex’ is. If we consider that an erect P that can become so on demand, remain so for a chosen period of time, and then ejaculate at a chosen time is an essential for ‘good sex’ (involving a P), we are setting ourselves up for failure... and also vastly limiting our sexual experiences.
If instead we can expand our view of sex away from it all being reliant on a mechanically functioning-on-demand P (and women as well as men need to learn this); see the whole body and mind as our sexual playground; get curious and creative; and learn to communicate with our partners, that can lead to infinitely more pleasure and happiness in the bedroom.
And much less pressure for the person with the P (which of course ironically means that erection is more likely to easily happen).
If you’ve been having concerns about yours or a partner’s erectile performance, and maybe relying on drugs to ‘fix’ this, instead I set you this homework this weekend: think about which part of your body away from the genitals is most erotically sensitive, and see what happens if you lavish attention and sensation on that part. If an erect P makes an appearance, ignore it, at least for a while – this is about learning that part of the body does not need to always take centre stage.
Of course you can do this exercise whether there is a P involved in your bedroom or not.
Not sure what your alternative sensitive area is? Great – then you have even more of a journey of exploration ahead of you. Enjoy!
