"Hi, I'm Ruth and I'm a sex coach"! How did I get here?
The first steps on my journey came in 2001, when I signed up for classes at London School Of Striptease. I fell in love with the empowerment, creativity, freedom and fun I found in this artform, and ditched my career in journalism.
That was the start of 12 exciting years which saw me dancing (based in London, UK), performing internationally, modelling, running events, teaching striptease and pole dancing, and campaigning for the rights of adult entertainment workers. I also campaigned widely for the erotic rights of people with disabilities and won an Erotic Award for this.
The lessons I learnt about sexual empowerment during this time came from some unexpected angles. I felt hugely empowered myself in a multitude of ways; as a striptease teacher I saw my students blossom into confident, joyful women; and I saw my diverse audiences empowered by being recognised as sexual beings (for more on this topic see the full version of this article in my Blog). Sexual empowerment and recognition allowed us all to step into the rest of our lives more confident, energised and happier.
I left the erotic industry after meeting my soulmate, moving to a village and becoming a stepmum. I missed dancing terribly, but my focus became building a happy stepfamily, while working as a fitness trainer. When my stepkids left for university, I allowed myself to acknowledge I wanted more, but returning to dancing wasn’t practical and didn’t feel right. I was drawn to transformational life coaching and studied for a diploma, but it hadn’t occurred to me it could be my way back into working in the sexual world. Then an acquaintance asked me to coach her around sexual happiness and identity: “I can’t think of anyone else I’d be comfortable talking to”. That was my lightbulb moment!
Now I combine my lived experience of sexual energy and erotic empowerment with transformational coaching. Coaching is a process of asking the right questions and providing a safe supported space for the client to deeply explore their wants and needs, where these come from and how to bring them into their life. Any good coach is non-judgemental, but my life experience adds an extra layer to this. I've been there, seen it, and done most of it!
Everything I encountered in my dancing years (which included I estimate over 10,000 hours of frank conversations, both in front of and behind the stage curtain), has left me unshockable and utterly non-judgemental. Seeing how an individual can blossom through coaching not just in their sexual life but in all areas of their life, and how sex can be transformed from something to be dreaded, tolerated, or something that is absent, into a source of intense joy and inspiration in life, brings me the same fulfilment dancing did.
I would love to discuss what you most desire from your sexual life, and how you might move towards that...
Looking forward to hearing from you!