If you want to know more, here’s the long version…

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“So what do you do?” When I’m asked this question, either at networking events or out socially, I like to pause and look the person in the eye for a calm moment before replying: “I help people have better sex”.

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Once they’ve collected themselves I explain I’m an adult sex educator and sex coach. The next question is usually “How on earth did you get into that?”.

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It’s a story I’ve told multiple times - in podcasts, in guest blogs, in articles - since I started coaching in 2019. It’s not a traditional route into this work but equips me with some unique strengths.

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I’ve always felt very connected to a current of sexual energy and was lucky to grow up in a household where I wasn’t given shame-based messages about sex or my body. When still a young person I had a fantasy of being a striptease artist and this persisted throughout my teens… though I never dreamt it could come true. I pursued my second love – writing – intending to write about sex and women’s issues for the big women’s glossy magazines (this was the 1990s when Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan Magazine etc reigned). I landed a sought-after place on the best journalism degree in the UK, at The London College Of Printing, worked my arse off there, and then started out my career as a journalist.

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A few years in, working for fashion business website WGSN, I saw an advert for the new London School Of Striptease…

I attended the School, fell in love with striptease and discovered I had a natural talent for it. I had a go at doing it ‘for real’ on the creative small-venue scene that existed at the time in London, and loved it even more. I ended up ditching the day job and becoming a full-time stripper.

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Over my 12 years stripping I danced at dozens of venues in the UK and abroad – from glamorous-looking clubs to seedy-looking pubs, from parties at New York Times Square penthouses to parties at care homes for the disabled. Meanwhile I used my media experience to become a spokesperson in the press for dancers’ rights; was part of the team setting up the first union for sex and adult industry workers in the UK; campaigned with performers’ union Equity against legal changes that threatened the small-venue scene; modelled; taught striptease and pole dance; ran my own events; appeared on film and TV; reviewed sex books, toys and films; and in 2012 won an Erotic Award in recognition of ten years of campaigning for sexual rights.

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I loved stripping, but over time the venues I thrived in were closing down with gentrification, and the strip scene was changing in other ways too that didn’t sit well with me. I studied and qualified as a personal fitness trainer, met my now-husband, and moved out of London to be with him, my striptease career ending (or so I thought…) as the last of my favourite venues closed.

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I spent several years growing my fitness business and concentrating on nurturing my new step-family. But I grieved dancing and the sexy industy terribly and couldn’t bear to part with any of my old dancers’ outfits. Once my stepchildren were old enough to know my past and were leaving home to pursue their own dreams, I allowed myself to recognise how much I missed working with sexual energy. I wasn’t sure how I’d get back into it, and took a life coaching diploma course in the meantime. Then someone on the diploma who knew my past asked me whether I could coach her around sex. “I don’t need therapy, but, I do need help, but I’ve always felt too shy talk to anyone - not even my husband - about sex. But you talk in such an inspiring and open way about stripping… I feel I could talk to you. And I feel confident you won’t slut-shame me or judge me. Can you coach me about my sex life?”

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That was my lightbulb moment and I haven’t looked back.

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Now I combine the communication skills learnt in my degree, with my unique life experience in the sexual worlds, and my coaching diploma (from ICF-accredited school Animas).

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I am very firmly a coach; I’m not a sex therapist or a medical practitioner and will always refer out without hesitation if a client’s challenges fall outside my lane. Coaching gives me scope to work intuitively and creatively, add in education, and where appropriate share elements of my own experience. Talking selectively and appropriately about my own experiences – only ever where this information is in service to the client’s journey –unlocks permission for my clients to talk about themselves. I also sometimes include striptease lessons in clients’ journeys.

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Much of this wouldn’t be possible if I were a regulated sex therapist. I believe coaches, therapists, medical professionals, bodyworkers, sex surrogates, sexologists and educators all have their place, in providing the nuanced and bespoke care each person struggling in their sex life needs.

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I spend half my time supporting coaching clients (men, women and couples) and the other half creating and presenting educational workshops, speaking on stages, writing in the press, appearing on podcasts, and getting involved with passion projects around sexual rights and wellness. I write a weekly newsletter on Substack, Something For The Weekend, which comes out at 7am on Saturdays and helps readers have better sex every weekend.

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In 2023 I gave a TEDx talk which became one of the top ten most-viewed TEDx talks of that year. 'Revamp Your Sex Life In Six Minutes' has now had well over 3 million views. I can genuinely say I have helped millions of people with their sex lives!

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I believe passionately that sexual energy can and should be a force for good in this world, and plan to continue my work supporting this, for as long as I am able to.

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I’m a happily married stepmum, and my husband (aka Tech Support) is my business partner. We are based just north of London, UK, and are regular visitors to Ibiza. My passions include music, clubbing, fitness, vegan living - and sex, of course!.