TESTIMONIALS
You'll have noticed from my website, that my coaching focus is on midlife men in heterosexual relationships. Over my time as a coach however I have helped hundreds of women and couples achieve sex lives they had barely dared to dream of. Scroll down for a small selection of testimonials from these clients. You can find testimonials from men on the Begin, Expand and Achieve pages.
"We have improved magnitudes from where we were when we started"
“During our 20 years of marriage my wife and I have participated in afternoon and weekend relationship conferences, and have attempted to do professional counselling and self-study to improve our relationship and our sex life. Generally all of these have yielded few tangible results.
However, working through Ruth's workshops and then having coaching with her, has us finally talking openly about sex! We have improved magnitudes from where we were when we started. We talk much more openly now and are more intentional about our experiences, which is huge for us.
My wife is very reserved about sex, and struggled initially; we had to go back to the beginning again for her to level set, and we have talked A LOT to keep moving. But now she’s getting away from what’s in her head, and opening up, so we can truly have mutually deep, passionate, pleasurable experiences.”
Darren and Claire, coaching clients 2023-25
"Working with Ruth felt kind, honest, positive and focused... Our sex life has definitely benefited"
"I valued many things from coaching with Ruth, but what found to be the most impactful, and one that we just shouldn't overlook, is just being utterly open about sex! When do we ever get the opportunity to really talk about sexual desires, sexual orientation, what we find sexy in a partner, and what we masturbate over with anyone other than a partner? I playfully try to talk about this with friends over a glass of wine but I think ultimately, people feel too uncomfortable so there is no 'sounding board'.
Prior to the session myself and my partner were getting tangled up with detail and lots of uncertainty and were not really seeing the bigger picture. The session felt kind, honest, positive and focused. We were able to have conversations where we both felt heard.
We have attended a number of Ruth's online workshops too and they have all been thought-provoking, particularly the Reboot Your Sex Life workshop. We have outrageously stressful and busy lives, which can feel overwhelming at times. But we are now able to be really clear about what enables intimacy (feeling physically and mentally relaxed) and what are the barriers (messy and dirty house), and so can anticipate and plan for this. Our sex life has definitely benefited."
Sam and Alex, 49 and 50, medical professionals, coaching clients 2025
“As new parents, we wanted to reconnect as a couple"
"After discovering Ruth on Instagram I followed her work and liked her approach. So I agreed with my wife to set up a discovery call with Ruth to see if we could work together. Ruth was open and engaging - taking time to answer our questions and gently guide us to the best programme for us and our lifestyle
Essentially as new parents we wanted to reconnect with ourselves and reconnect as a couple; and to better understand and fulfil the potential our intimacy can offer.
So many benefits unfolded on our journey! Including huge leaps on understanding of both the psychological and physiological aspects of our sex life together, all which helped us strengthen and complete our reconnection. The simple act of doing this programme together as a couple has brought us closer together - before the benefits of enjoying our intimate lives even more!
Ruth is a knowledgeable and skilled coach who guided us beautifully on this journey. We found that investing in your intimate life is money well spent."
Mr & Mrs Stokes, 49 & 40, coaching clients 2022
"Turns out my delayed ejaculation was largely of my own making'"
"I felt my sex life was cratering with my wife of 30 years: were we just 'getting old'? Sexual frequency had fallen off a cliff. Even when we had sex, I was stressing myself with expectations. I'd been experiencing delayed ejaculations, and was feeling down, frustrated and a failure. The lack of any feedback from my partner had me believing that she thought everything was 'fine'.
What finally pushed me to do something was the realisation my own dissatisfaction was leading to resentment. When I finally worked up the courage to have the discussion there were a few tears, but it turned out my wife had been feeling somewhat the same, and had thought I'd been losing interest!
I stumbled across Ruth’s Tedx talk, then her online workshops and hers sounded like an approach which could really help. I enrolled us as a couple, and to my relief my wife joined me.
Never had I expected online workshops to be so genuinely helpful. They were an absolute game changer! For the first time ever we began really talking about sex. We discovered things about each other neither had a clue about. I still vividly remember when we both shared some of our fantasies. OMG!
We began to schedule sex. I was initially dubious - but months later, we've not only kept up with our date nights but often supplement these with spontaneous sessions. We have become much better at talking about our wants and desires.
Turns out my delayed ejaculation was largely of my own making - 'in my head'. I am learning to be in the moment and to stop overthinking and being self critical. What started out as hopelessness at the situation, has turned into a wonderful journey with my partner which only a year ago I could not have imagined.
Learning with Ruth has helped immensely not only with our sexual life together but with our communication generally. And it's only getting better. It has changed both our lives."
Nathan and Clara, 52 and 51, took Ruth's workshops in 2023
"I was nervous signing up to Ruth's online course, but it was extraordinary"
"Sex has been a hugely emotional and contentious issue in what is otherwise my amazing marriage. Communication around sex has been upsetting and painful with numerous misunderstandings caused by impossibly different viewpoints.
I was nervous signing up to Ruth's online course The Passion8 Programme, but it was extraordinary. It enabled me to understand why my husband and I had been unable to see each other's perspectives for so many years and gave me the confidence to not only initiate conversation, but also to initiate sex itself!
The knowledge that I gained about sexual wiring has been a revelation. After just two modules, I had gained clarity on the difficulties we had experienced. It perfectly explained all of our past misunderstandings. The problems we'd had were actually far less complex than I had imagined, and even better... neither one of us was at fault.
I have felt so confused, upset and guilty in the past that it felt impossible to move forward. My new understanding has opened everything up - enabling healthy communication, acceptance and forgiveness. Our sex life now feels more equal, more relaxed and more fun, and filled with possibility."
Anna, 45, married with teenage children, took The Passion8 Programme in 2021
“Ruth's course did so much more than just reignite our spark!”
OLIVIA: “We hoped by doing Ruth's online course The Passion8 Programme to reignite our erotic spark; we felt we were in a bit of a routine and sex was often the last thing on our list of priorities. I was deep down feeling a bit hurt that things were not how they used to be, even though all the other aspects of our relationship were really good.
Well, Passion8 gave us a lot more than just reigniting a spark! Even just making a commitment to the course started shifting things: our communication improved and we could approach the subject of sex with curiosity rather than seeing it as a measure of the quality of our relationship. This removed some of the emotional baggage for me.
The course felt very liberating, helping me ditch what doesn't work for me instead of trying to change ‘me’ to fit into the ideas set out by of media/culture. The talk about pleasure activism in the last module was just ‘wow!’ and was what I needed to hear. I have been working on radical self-acceptance and ‘being more me’ and this resonated with my journey so much.
I couldn't have imagined the positive impact of the course on the rest of our relationship: increased levels of playfulness, light-heartedness and mutual understanding. That the course was not just about sex, it was about choosing pleasure as a way of life. A heartfelt thank you.
BRIAN: “We came into the course thinking there was just one bit of our sex life we wanted to improve, but this has given us so much more. I hadn’t been aware of the sheer volume of excellent research and data on sex; or just how much of a change of outlook this knowledge can have on the rest of one’s life.
It has already improved our erotic life, and our relationship as a result. This course has genuinely changed my life for the better.”
Brian and Olivia, married, 30s, took The Passion8 Programme in 2021
"I have gone from feeling shy and inhibited, to experiencing a confidence I never dreamt of"
“In my coaching journey with Ruth I have gone from feeling shy and inhibited, to experiencing a confidence I never dreamt of. I now realise that I knew nothing useful about sex, even about my own body, and was operating under a mountain of false beliefs and misconceptions. No wonder I never felt ‘good enough’.
It has been hard to realise how much time I have spent going along with partners’ desires because I didn’t know what I wanted or felt I couldn’t speak up, but, those days are behind me. Now I can tune it to what I want - and know that can change each time - and ask for it. Turns out my partner is far more generous in bed than I gave credit for – before it was simply that he wasn’t a mind reader!
Our sex life had pretty much come to a total halt and I had worried the stress of that would break the relationship (which was the push for me to try to find a solution), but just a few months later and we are the happiest and most secure we have ever been.”
Sabina, 32, coaching client 2023-24
"I feel sexier, full of self-acceptance and I'm opening up to experiences I'd always fantasised about"
"I'd started to experience something of a crisis of confidence in my sexual identity and attractiveness since reaching my forties. Ruth had a natural ability to put me at ease and I found myself confiding in her about things I'd never told anyone. After years of putting my needs after that of my partners' and always having felt fearful of being 'slut shamed' for my sexual desires, it was a deeply liberating experience to be able to be honest and frank.
Since working with Ruth, I feel sexier, full of self-acceptance and I'm opening up to experiences I'd always fantasied about, but hadn't had the confidence to voice. I'm loving the new 'me' and my partner has been very pleasantly surprised by my new-found confidence!"
Helen, 42, coaching client, 2019
“At 50, I felt as if sex and eroticism were no longer for me - but now I know there is (sex) life after divorce”
"After a 20-year marriage that ended in divorce, I felt completely terrified about all aspects of getting into a new relationship, with sex being at the top of my fear list. All sorts of past anxieties, judgements and self -criticism had come up for me, as well as the fear of not being 'good enough', 'experienced enough' or confident enough. Opening up to someone about sex and admitting my naivety, was way out of my comfort zone.
But as I spoke to Ruth about my innermost thoughts, I could feel myself growing in confidence and realising that actually things weren't as bad as my mind had made them. My fear of rejection was normal and commonplace. Asking for what I want and being bolder in bed suddenly seemed possible.
Ruth was unphased by anything I said, and was able to reflect my words back to me with precision and clarity. I spilled out a huge bundle of tangled thoughts and she was able to find the thread quickly. I loved the way she seemed to get into my head and kept the focus on the challenges and themes that were important to me, even when I veered off course sometimes. To be listened to so deeply was a gift.
Rachel, 50, coaching client, 2022