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  • Ruth Ramsay

Let me slip my white lab coat on...

Did you know we all start our physical development in the womb with the same tissue? Whatever our gender, our genitals develop from the same cells – ‘bipotential gonads’. They simply grown into different shapes depending on our chromosomes.


If you’ve ever been fascinated by the ‘seam’ down a scrotum and wondered why that’s there… It’s where the tissue would have separated and become labia if the fetus had XX chromosomes (or if they are intersex*, any chromosome combination that which would lead to labia – more on that in a moment).


The penis is basically a large clitoris or clitoris a very small penis… They originate as the same tissue.


This totally blew my mind when I first learnt it. I’ve found that sharing it with clients can have a profound effect on their understanding of other sexes.


This is particularly the case for people with penises – for example, to realise that going straight in with hard stimulation on someone’s unaroused clitoris can be uncomfortable/painful, just as it would be for them, or that changing direction/pressure/style of stimulation every ten seconds might not be as pleasurable as sticking to one thing for longer.


Where there are natural variations in chromosomes and hormones, a person may be intersex – having genital characteristics from both traditionally-prescribed sexes. Another mind-blowing fact for me was that around 2 per cent of the population are intersex – the same as have ginger hair or have green eyes. Put another way, if the Emirates football stadium in London is full to capacity, statistically 1,200 people in that roaring crowd will be intersex. This may be physically apparent from birth, or become apparent as they journey through life, or they may never know – but it’s not as uncommon as you may have assumed.


We all start the same and simply develop differently. Whatever your personal thoughts about things like how we define gender, isn’t that biologically amazing? And doesn’t it make you feel closer to all your fellow humans?


That we all start from the same tissue, is one of several key learning points in my ‘How To Please A Woman In Bed’ presentation (aka ‘How To Pleasure A Pussy’). You can buy instant access to a recording of this here: https://www.ruthramsay.com/please


If the above is news to you, I invite you to take a minute (or several) to think about how this information may affect how you approach sex, if it’s with someone with a different body to yours?


And/or, what insight does it give you about your own body? How does it make you feel about how ‘shameful’ different genitals are? How might it cause you to educate/inform your children differently? Who in your life might you want to share the information with?


Let's lift the shame of talking about sex, and spread the news of how we're less-different-from-each-other than we've been led to believe. All our intimate lives will be better as a result.




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