Question 1

"I risked my marriage if I didn't drop my ego" Lewis, 49

Accepted Answer

"I consider myself a success in life and from the outside I'm sure it looked like my wife and I had the perfect marriage and life together. But 15 years of time-consuming career-building for me and full-time parenting for her, had pushed us apart, in intimate and sexual matters.

When we tried to reconnect, I found years of masturbating and a porn habit did not translate back into the marital bedroom. She was clearly unhappy with my 'performance' and at took it to be a reflection on my desire for her, which it wasn't. We had never talked about sex and found we could not start now, and the guilt and shame was destroying us both. It was driving a wedge through the entire marriage.

My wife initially found Ruth and took several of her workshops. Her whole mindset and confidence changed. It was inspiring to see but I found my own issues remained. She told me I needed to work with Ruth but my embarrassment and my ego got in the way - until she gave me an ultimatum. I realised I risked my marriage if I didn't drop my ego and get help.

I agreed to a 'discovery call' and was amazed how easy it was to talk to Ruth and just how much I had been bottling up. I don't hesitate to seek expert help in other areas of life, so decided to apply that approach to this one.

Now several months on and my wife and I have an active, varied sex life and communicate better, laugh more, and are a better team outside of the bedroom too. By this point we could have been in divorce proceedings. Instead I can genuinely say we are the happiest we have ever been, and we are excited about spending this second half of our lives together.

We'll never be able to thank Ruth enough."

Lewis, 49

Question 2

"My wife asked if I was having an affair”  Tomas, 38

Accepted Answer

“Ruth helped me see and face up to things that were right in front of my eyes but that I had been choosing to ignore in my marriage. At first I was a bit resistant to change, but that was the whole point of getting a coach, to make me accountable.

I couldn’t believe what a difference just small changes in communication made. I hadn’t told my wife I was having coaching, but she guessed that something was up and even asked if I was having an affair and that’s where my new knowledge and communication were coming from! So I had to tell her about Ruth, showed her Ruth’s TEDx talk and since then she has done some of Ruth’s workshops.

Now the whole way we approach our sex life together has changed. There is much less stress and much more fun! Working with Ruth should be compulsory as part of getting married.”

Tomas, 38

Question 3

“I believed I had a fetish” Andrew, 56

Accepted Answer

“Having had counselling in the past, I know half the first session can be taken up with becoming comfortable enough to start talking. But Ruth put me at ease straight away and I felt able to start talking from the first minute.

The issues were delicate and which I would have felt very uneasy talking to another man about. It was of benefit to me hearing thoughts from a female perspective. The main topic was not enjoying penetration and also what I believed to be a fetish - wrongly, it turned out. Ruth's coaching made me look at everything from a totally different point of view. I now have a totally different mindset and feel so much more positive and upbeat in myself.

My only regret is not finding Ruth sooner as would have saved me years of worry and concern. Highly recommend – five-plus stars!”

Andrew, 56

Question 4

"I had ingrained fears and concerns" - Jon-Paul, 51

Accepted Answer

"If you had asked me in the past whether I would seek coaching on my sex life, I would have been incredibly negative towards the idea. Coming from a background of strict religious upbringing and military mindsets, the thought of being open on so sensitive a topic with a complete stranger triggered all the alarm bells. Let alone admitting any difficulty in that area to a woman.

However, the journey my wife and I are on meant we needed to do something. And having investigated the various topics online, we decided to reach out to Ruth and schedule an initial discussion to see if this could be something that would benefit us... or send me running for the hills.

Thankfully, Ruth put to rest both my ingrained fears and imagined concerns – being the sort of soul you can just talk with on any topic without fear of judgement. The care she brought to sessions when we shared very sensitive topics was genuine and touching. Whilst my initial worry was that the sessions would be very one-sided and biased towards my wife’s desires and journey, in fact every time we have talked it has always felt very balanced. Ruth has helped reframe my issue with obtaining a consistent and reliable erection during intercourse, and this is slowly opening up opportunities for intimacy that frankly I did not think existed.

I cannot credit Ruth enough for supporting and guiding us both. If anyone is unsure, hesitant or thinking they could not benefit from Ruth’s experience, I would ask them to challenge themselves – and take that first step. I am glad we did."

Jon-Paul, 51

"Now my wife and I have an active, varied sex life and communicate better, laugh more... We could have been in divorce proceedings, instead we are the happiest we've ever been." - Lewis, 49

ACHIEVE SEXUAL MASTERY

Become confident, playful lovers and make sex about pleasure, not pressure

"I risked my marriage if I didn't drop my ego" Lewis, 49

"My wife asked if I was having an affair” Tomas, 38

“I believed I had a fetish” Andrew, 56

"I had ingrained fears and concerns" - Jon-Paul, 51

Mastery coaching journey: my top level of support, six hour-long coaching sessions with detailed follow-ups, bespoke access to my educational suite of workshops and courses, and regular email support. Six months.

Simple coaching journey: four hour-long coaching sessions.