“I was nervous about opening up to Ruth about my many insecurities and worries around sex. But there was a huge sense of relief to at last be taking action around the problems I had always experienced.

The biggest thing I learnt in my first session, was that I was normal! Things that I had got so in my head about and thought were personal failings, I understood are experienced by many men. I also got rid of some of my sense of guilt and failure that I did not somehow just ‘know what to do’.

From there, it was a case of unlearning everything I thought I knew and starting again from scratch. But starting again in a world where the expectations on me – and on certain bit of my anatomy – are so much less heavy than before.

I now go into dates that might end up in the bedroom, feeling much more relaxed and open minded than before, looking forward to fun and connection instead of being filled with dread, “what if we go to bed and I can’t get hard or stay hard?”.

It was so valuable to have a woman’s perspective and to be able to ask Ruth questions. She was very professional as a coach, but at the same time I felt she really cared. I never had the opportunity to talk so openly with a woman. I didn’t feel judged and opened up to her about things I had not expected to.

There are many things that I wish I had known a couple of decades ago. Life would of been very different. But at least I know now, and I look forward to putting them into practice.”

Adrian P, 39

“Ruth helped me see and face up to things that were right in front of my eyes but that I had been choosing to ignore in my marriage. At first I was a bit resistant to change, but that was the whole point of getting a coach, to make me accountable.

I couldn’t believe what a difference just small changes in communication made. I hadn’t told my wife I was having coaching, but she guessed that something was up and even asked if I was having an affair and that’s where my new knowledge and communication were coming from! So I had to tell her about Ruth, showed her Ruth’s TEDx talk and since then she has done some of Ruth’s workshops.

Now the whole way we approach our sex life together has changed. There is much less stress and much more fun! Working with Ruth should be compulsory as part of getting married.”

Tomas, 38

“Having had counselling in the past, I know half the session can be taken up with becoming comfortable enough to start talking. Ruth put me at ease straight away and I felt able to start talking from the first minute. The hour flew by.

The issues were delicate and which I would have felt very uneasy talking to another man about. It was of benefit to me hearing thoughts from a female perspective. The main topic was not enjoying penetration and also what I believed to be a fetish - wrongly, it turned out. Ruth's coaching made me look at everything from a totally different point of view. I left the session with a totally different mindset and feeling so much more positive and upbeat in myself.

My only regret is not finding Ruth sooner as would have saved me years of worry and concern. Highly recommend – five-plus stars!”

Andrew, 56

“Ruth is phenomenal. My wife and I have had a few sessions with her and we honestly cannot say enough good things.

We’re both 34 years old, and Ruth has really helped us open up to each other - talking about our wants, desires, and how to better understand one another. She has offered great strategies and thoughtful suggestions that have made a real difference in how we communicate and our intimacy with one another.

Ruth is also incredibly responsive and follows up consistently. She always checks in and gets back to us quickly with answers to any questions. She has such great energy and a calm, trustworthy presence. We look forward to continuing to work with her for as long as we can.”

Alex, 34

"Working with Ruth has been a transformative experience. I came to her as a widower, feeling disconnected and frustrated around my intimate life, unsure of how to move forward. From the very first session, she created a safe, non-judgmental space where I felt truly heard and understood. Her compassionate approach and deep expertise helped me explore the root of my concerns with honesty and clarity.

Through our work together, I’ve gained confidence, improved communication in my new relationships, and developed a healthier connection with my own sexuality. She gave me the tools to break through barriers I didn’t even realize were holding me back. I now experience intimacy with more presence, trust, and joy. I’m so grateful for Ruth's support and guidance throughout this journey. I can honestly say my life has changed for the better. I highly recommend her to anyone seeking meaningful growth in their intimate life."

Peter R, 64

“I am so glad I found Ruth. I am a 44 year old, married male, and my sexual life has included challenges, successes, and lots of questions. Ruth has given me a sense of peace that there is a place for me to find sexual health and for my ideas, desires, and fantasies to exist in a healthy way. In fact, a welcome learning from Ruth is that my thoughts, desires, and sexual fantasies are actually a gateway to deep connection with my wife and to my own personal self expression!

Ruth is a trustworthy and compassionate guide. She represents what is possible in the wild world of sexuality, and yet having a conversation with her is very grounded, adult, and mature. Thank god.

Ruth has helped me get out from under guilt, shame, and fear, and she has helped me build courage to recommit to my own sexual health. Best of all, Ruth has helped me see that there is a huge opportunity to share all of this with my wife and for us to grow together! At midlife, the best of our sexual lives is yet to come. Wonderful news.”

Campbell Gerrish, 44, Life & Leadership Coach

“Ruth is a gift. She is an insider in the world of women, willing to share the inside track. God knows I needed her help.

Growing up, my Dad wasn’t around to show me the ropes, plus I attended a mildly fundamentalist Christian church. We were told, "Until marriage, don’t touch someone else’s body part if you don’t have it yourself." I was also sent to a Catholic boys' school where, during an awkward sex education lesson, one boy threw up, and another fainted. That was the beginning and end of my sex education.

Fast forward to marriage, and as a 30-year-old virgin, I felt like an insecure teenager. Twenty years later we have a few kids in the mix: yes, we figured out the mechanics of intercourse… but not the dynamics of intimacy. Something had to change. In a moment of desperate Googling, I found Ruth.

Right from the start, I felt I could ask her anything. I sensed she wanted the best for me. With her ‘unconventional’ job in the past [a striptease artist], I felt she wouldn’t have hang-ups about my unusual questions.

As a coach, she is part listener, part educator, part problem solver - an all-around compassionate and wise human. She tailored our sessions based on what she learned about my religious background. One of her phrases, as she helped me find words for my deepest desires and fears, was, “What would happen if this all went right?”

Ruth enabled me to figure out what my partner might be thinking and feeling. I feel so lucky to have a coach who is an insider - a woman who can help me amp up my sexiness, so that my partner wants me inside of her, as well as alongside her in our marriage.

Ruth will teach you to speak your truth in thoughtful, not desperate or demanding, ways. She will create an environment for you to grow in every way possible. Ruth will help you become a bigger man.”

Franklin, 49

“I’m a 68 year old straight male who's been on the dating scene for over 50 years. I grew up unsporty and into nerdy things; went to an all-male school; mainly-male university; and into a male-dominated work environment. Attractive women have been rare in my world and when I have met any, I’m been smitten - but it has never gone anywhere. Consequently I have spent quite a bit of time and money with escorts.

Ruth understands why and doesn’t judge. I booked a couple of one-hour coaching sessions with her almost as confessionals, about things I have felt were forbidden to talk about.

Ruth has helped me explore what I most want going forward - a committed relationship – and steps to get there. I am now signed up with a matchmaking agency. I realise there will be a transition to make, if I am matched successfully, between those paid-for 'moments' and 'real life' sex. At which point I will book another session with Ruth for support around that. It is invaluable to have such a genuinely non-judgemental ear to confide in."

Michael H, 68, retiree